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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

LANS Pension Numbers and Balances

LANS Pension Numbers and Balances

Anonymously contributed:


I recently checked my retirement contributions being "held" by LANS. Until recently, I was showing $26K in pension contributions (prior to LANS) with interest. To my dismay I checked my balance to find it zeroed, i.e., $0. I called Hewlett and after waiting 15-minutes they informed me that there was "glitch in the system". I would highly recommend that those that are on TCP-1 verify the accuracy of information "regularly". I have absolutely no confidence or trust in LANS or Hewlett, especially with my money. Zero! None!

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah, come on. Mikey and his friends over at Bechtel just needed to "borrow" some of the employee's retirement money to get through to the summer. They are feeling the pain of the DOE's pay freeze. Don't worry, they were planning on paying it all back, promise!

However, I think you are on to something big. Think how easy it will be for Hewitt accountants to solve the TCP1 pension liability funding crisis by simply dropping the last digit from everyone's years of service at LANL. Presto, chango -- the TCP1 pension is suddenly flush with cash. It's brilliant, I tell ya!

Anonymous said...

LANS loans the employee retirement funds out every night to the Central Bank of Zimbabwe in an overnight non-collateralized loan ("Bear Sterns" style) to make a little bit of extra income for the lab's declining operational budget.

Don't fret, it's done by just about all corporations in America these days. You have absolutely nothing to worry about, my friend. Just keep wearing those amazing "shoes that GRIP!" and saying to yourself.... "PBIs, Baby!"

Anonymous said...

They are feeling the pain of the DOE's pay freeze. Don't worry, they were planning on paying it all back, promise!

March 9, 2011 9:10 PM

Take my word for it, they are feeling no pain on the DOE pay freeze because they are not associated with DOE. They get DOE money that is laundered (i.e. cleansed) by U.C. LANS management wouldn't dare handing DOE's dirty money.

Anonymous said...

I was the original poster. I'm still waiting for Anastasio and Knapp to put my money back. It's still showing zeros in my account. I was amazed how nonchalant Hewett was regarding this issue when I spoke with them. It's never a "big deal" when it's not your money. As I thought about this I realized that we never receive anything on paper from Hewett. I guess my money is all gone, poof, nada. Never existed.

Anonymous said...

I guess my money is all gone, poof, nada. Never existed. - March 10, 2011 5:10 PM


The ultimate retirement nightmare... prove to LANS that you worked at the lab for the last 30 years when the Oracle database has managed to destroy all of your employment records covering the first 25 years of your service. What? You mean you didn't keep all those paper pay stubs that the lab used to issue before LANS took control of the lab? Too bad.

Anonymous said...

Relax guys. Neither Hewitt nor LANS holds a penny of your pension money. Hewitt is only the record keeper and your contributions are sent directly to the pension trust immediately after they are corrected. It is not unusual for the UCRP contribution field to be empty for a few days when the monthly update files are being processed. Find something else to obsess about.

Anonymous said...

Sorry -should have said "immediately after they are colleted" in the fifth line. I know you guys like to obsess on spelling and grammar as well.

Anonymous said...

The ultimate retirement nightmare... prove to LANS that you worked at the lab for the last 30 years when the Oracle database has managed to destroy all of your employment records covering the first 25 years of your service. What? You mean you didn't keep all those paper pay stubs that the lab used to issue before LANS took control of the lab? Too bad.

March 10, 2011 6:00 PM

This actually is not funny. I worked at Livermore during the 70's. When I tried to prove this while U.C. was giving up to 2-years of service credit for part-time employment they had no records. I had to go through my garage to find old paper check stubs to prove it. I would recommend everyone periodically get hardcopies of their records. As someone mentioned we are currently entrusting record keeping Oracle. I don't care if Hewett or LLNS/LANS managers don't hold the money, I still don't trust them as far as I spit.

Anonymous said...

I too, neither trust the long-term security of databases nor the "worker bashing' attitude of LLNS senior management as expressed in the terrible managers and strategists of HRP.

I do not trust their leadership hags, whose perceive their job to continually screw employees. If they can figure out how to steal your funds, retirement or otherwise, they will try.

I do not trust them.

Anonymous said...

Given the budget numbers being thrown around in Congress, worrying about your LLNS or LANS "$0" pension account balance will be the least of your worries.

It appears the number of workers that can be reasonably support at LLNL and LANL is going to be lowered by quite a bit. Talk of RIFs is starting to percolate among the accounting people and top level managers. However, they don't even have the funds to cover for severance, so I would expect they may suddenly declare accumulated severance "null and void" and announce a new policy of only 2 weeks severance before executing any future layoffs.

And don't even think about the possibility of things like "3 +3". Those days are long gone. We are run by corporate accounting weenies. The new corporate types have no desire to help ease the pain for this next round of layoffs.

Anonymous said...

If they want senior folks to leave, especially those that took the UC retirement and then retired in place, they will need a powerful incentive.

By conducting the incentive at mid-year, they have big cushions from the saved salaries. Plus the performance bonuses from lower overall costs can be applied as well to sweeten the pots...

Hopeful to have one in hand in 100 days...

Anonymous said...

If they want senior folks to leave, especially those that took the UC retirement and then retired in place, they will need a powerful incentive.

March 13, 2011 4:22 PM

No, they can just be fired. As private corporation employees, those folks will have no recourse under the law. It has happened many times in recent years in private industry.

Anonymous said...

Ha - Fired? Not at LANL. We have so much deadwood around here even people that should be fired are not. They just keep passing the same deadheads around to other departments. LANL is the welfare office in these parts....

Anonymous said...

"No, they can just be fired. As private corporation employees,...blah, blah, blah ... industry."

you just don't get it.

Offer the incentive.
I and 500 others will hit the road.

Anonymous said...

Offer the incentive.
I and 500 others will hit the road.

March 14, 2011 9:42 PM


You still don't get it, do you 9:42 PM. There is *NO MONEY* to offer incentives like in the past. What part of the term *NO MONEY* do you still fail to grasp?

You are living in the dreamland of the past. Wake up, it's 2011 and you are now run by a private "for profit" corporation of which Bechtel is the prime partner!

Anonymous said...

Offer the incentive.
I and 500 others will hit the road.

March 14, 2011 9:42 PM

I just don't understand this attitude. Either the situation is bad enough to make you leave, or it isn't. If you are planning on resuming your career somewhere else after leaving, why not leave now and save yourself all that stress? If not, that tells me you don't consider the situation bad enough to leave yet.

In any case, March 15, 2011 9:55 AM
is correct: Even thinking an incentive is remotely possible is foolish.

Anonymous said...

"I just don't understand this attitude. Either the situation is bad enough to make you leave, or it isn't."

Ok it is very simple, I do no work now, I come in 6 hours a day, two hours on the internet, 2 hours talking to buds, and 2 hours lunch. Now why would anyone leave this unless they have an incentive? BB, "Before Bechtel" I cared, now I do not. Sure I am using up money right now but what if I do leave the money would just go to the ever growing number of managers. If 500 people left tomorrow it would only mean 150 more new managers the next day and RIF's for more people.

Ok I am just kidding but this may not be that far off from the truth
of the situation, I mean the way things are, not Michael Sorrentino.

"Remember it can always be worse, which means you should accept the way it is not try to make things better." Caption of the football team 2nd to last place.

Anonymous said...

Ok it is very simple, I do no work now, I come in 6 hours a day, two hours on the internet, 2 hours talking to buds, and 2 hours lunch. Now why would anyone leave this unless they have an incentive?

March 16, 2011 9:35 PM

Um, desire for a feeling of accomplishment and professional satisfaction? Self-respect? To avoid wasting your life? Respect of your professional peers? Plain old guilt? Just a few off the top of my head.

Anonymous said...

Ok it is very simple, I do no work now, I come in 6 hours a day, two hours on the internet, 2 hours talking to buds, and 2 hours lunch. Now why would anyone leave this unless they have an incentive?

March 16, 2011 9:35 PM

Um, desire for a feeling of accomplishment and professional satisfaction? Self-respect? To avoid wasting your life? Respect of your professional peers? Plain old guilt? Just a few off the top of my head.

March 17, 2011 11:50 AM

Um, no. LANS/LANS took that all away from us.

Anonymous said...

Um, desire for a feeling of accomplishment and professional satisfaction? Self-respect? To avoid wasting your life? Respect of your professional peers? Plain old guilt? Just a few off the top of my head.

March 17, 2011 11:50 AM

Um, no. LANS/LANS took that all away from us.

March 17, 2011 8:01 PM

Hah! They didn't "take" anything from you that you didn't willingly give up in your adopted mantle of victimhood, You mean you let them bleed you of everything honorable and respectable and you've willingly become a slave with no honor left. Congratulations. How do you feel about yourself? Get some balls, man!

Anonymous said...

At least "they" didn't take away our sense of entitlement!

Anonymous said...

Um, desire for a feeling of accomplishment and professional satisfaction? Self-respect? To avoid wasting your life? Respect of your professional peers? Plain old guilt? Just a few off the top of my head.

March 17, 2011 11:50 AM

Um, no. LANS/LANS took that all away from us.

March 17, 2011 8:01 PM

Hah! They didn't "take" anything from you that you didn't willingly give up in your adopted mantle of victimhood, You mean you let them bleed you of everything honorable and respectable and you've willingly become a slave with no honor left. Congratulations. How do you feel about yourself? Get some balls, man!

March 17, 2011 8:56 PM

Why should I have a pair if the the LANS/LLNS "so called managers" don't have them? I least I have a heart and soul.

Anonymous said...

"Hah! They didn't "take" anything from you that you didn't willingly give up in your adopted mantle of victimhood, You mean you let them bleed you of everything honorable and respectable and you've willingly become a slave with no honor left. Congratulations. How do you feel about yourself? Get some balls, man!

March 17, 2011 8:56 PM"

I think some of the people feel that by staying on that they are fighting Bechtel. They do not want feel that they are forced out and that when they do leave the money will just go into creating more managers. They see it as a moral service. Also all you people who think that if they leave that this will reduce the number people that will be RIF'ed are wrong. It is simple math the managers will be paid more if more people are gone.

Anonymous said...

"You still don't get it..... There is *NO MONEY* to offer incentives like in the past. What part of the term *NO MONEY* do you still fail to grasp? .."

Ignorance is a powerful thing, readily dispelled by facts.

FACT1. Incentives are paid out of operating budgets; LANL's ops budget is nearly $2B per year, LLLs closer to $1.5B.

FACT2, If an separation incentive is offered mid-year. The entire years remaining salary for that person is available either as savings or to fund the incentive.

CONCLUSION1 Either way the staff is smaller the following year, so the funds are saved in subsequent years.

RATIONALE The purpose of an incentive is to motivate people otherwise protected to depart on their own.

PROTEST If as you claim, any can be rooted out as management deems appropriate, then incentives aren't necessary.

REBUTTAL Those of us with some gray hairs earned in place, will posit that not all who should depart are either identified or removable.

CONCLUSION2 So as you can now see, in spite of your strident protest, there is plenty of money and a powerful logic for incentives.

I hope to benefit by getting one soon.

Anonymous said...

At least "they" didn't take away our sense of entitlement!

I wouldn't say entitlement as much as accurately observing the new surroundings.

The transition to private management under direct DOE oversight had raised the value and rewarded time spent on activities with dubious value, at the expense time and focus on the science and engineering tasks of weapons stewardship that were once foremost. It's their emphasis not mine.

This obsevation of the real de-emphasis of the valuable at the altar of the inane, correctly motivates a logical response to do the same if weakly, to follow managements lead as is suits, even if under UC this lack of focus and worthwhile contribution would have lead to failure. It is troubling but not solvable.

So I observe and mimic the fools who would lead me, and wait until I reach retirement age. While my job changed in undesirable ways, I made a lifetime committment long ago that is not reversible.

Six months of severance brings the happy departure day closer.

Anonymous said...

that you didn't willingly give up in your adopted mantle of victimhood,..

You read too much into it. Not a victim, just an employee whose work environment has changed and who has plotted an optimum time of departure that suits my station that has not yet arrived.

A severance speeds that along.

Anonymous said...

CONCLUSION2 So as you can now see, in spite of your strident protest, there is plenty of money and a powerful logic for incentives.

I hope to benefit by getting one soon.

March 19, 2011 4:03 PM

Dream on. I have rarely read a more delusional post. No matter how much money there is, employees with your attitude are not the ones the corporate shills who now run LANS and LLNS want to reward. They will stiff you just to prove the point that you are their enemy and they will win. You don't work for UC anymore. Keep dreaming.

Anonymous said...

"It appears the number of workers that can be reasonably support at LLNL and LANL is going to be lowered by quite a bit. Talk of RIFs is starting to percolate among the accounting people and top level managers." Funny this should be posted. It was supposed to be hush hush and no one was to know they were thinking about this. My only question is this. Are they going to give the employes two weeks notice or 15 minutes as usual. We all know there will be no incentives. It's otu the door and have a good day, your services are no longer needed.

Anonymous said...

It's otu the door and have a good day, your services are no longer needed.

March 26, 2011 7:10 PM

As with every other private corporation in America that needs to downsize. Why are you special? Yeah, national security, best and the brightest, nuclear expertise, yada yada yada. Grow up. You work for whoever thinks your services are valuable. Get valuable or get lost.

Anonymous said...

Get valuable or get lost...

my point, exactly. find me.

or for 6 months severance, i will flush my sad self out.

otherwise you can do it. if you know how.

Anonymous said...

otherwise you can do it. if you know how.

March 27, 2011 8:48 PM

Yep, I do. And my job is not in jeopardy, and I actually like doing it and feel I am making a difference. In my opinion, it is all in the attitude. If you act like a loser, you will lose. Your management will not miss you. Me, they already said they would miss. I'm working very hard to turn that into a raise for me and my family. I am confident that come raise time later this year, I will be among the highest valued employees, and therefore on my way to the highest paid.

Anonymous said...

Buy good kneepads.

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