From the Huffington Post
Why Workplace Jargon Is A Big Problem
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/25/work-words_n_5159868.html?utm_hp_ref=business&ir=Business
When we replace a specific task with a vague expression, we grant the task more magnitude than it deserves. If we don't describe an activity plainly, it seems less like an easily achievable goal and more like a cloudy state of existence that fills unknowable amounts of time.
A fog of fast and empty language has seeped into the workplace. I say it's time we air it out, making room for simple, concrete words, and, therefore, more deliberate actions. By striking the following 26 words from your speech, I think you'll find that you're not quite as overwhelmed as you thought you were. Count the number that LLNLs mangers use.
touch base
circle back
bandwidth -
impactful -
utilize -
table the discussion
deep dive -
engagement -
viral
value-add -
one-sheet
deliverable -
work product -
incentivise -
take it to the next level
hard stop
on your radar -
due diligence -
360-degree thinking
paradigm shift
globalize
action item -
bleeding edge
killing it
synergize -
low-hanging fruit
Ok I have never heard a LLLNL manager use paradigm shift, killing it, one-sheet. What is interesting is how this kind of language which is not even desirable in the real world is now being embraced by the lab management. Culturally speaking the lab management is are always way behind the fads of the corporate world. I predict that in 5 years, lab managers will only use Facebook and twitter to convey information. We will start getting all hands memos with "bf"
"cre8" "FTW" "U" "JTLYK" and so on.
Comments
http://llnlthetruestory.blogspot.com/2013/06/what-waste.html
This "press release" from Sandia was full of workplace jargon (including the title!)
take it to the next level. I'd hate to see the program come to a hard stop because we weren't on congresses radar. I suggest doing your due diligence by demonstrating some 360-degree thinking in order to bring about the paradigm shift we are attempting to force and globalize the program goals. I think as an action item you should push the science to the bleeding edge just short of killing it, to synergize with our "work-for others" partners and claim the low-hanging fruit!
Okay....what do I win?
May 1, 2014 at 8:01 PM
Dam that was pretty good, but almost too good. Strangely it almost makes sense.
May 2, 2014 at 3:06 PM
More to the point, why is asking that unreasonable or unfair?
May 2, 2014 at 8:57 PM"
Managers are the true value added with 360 degree thinking to the stakeholders of the labs. Workers live in the world of "in the box" thinking. We are now "capture value oriented" in that we take the value built by others and keep the profit and consume "core competencies". Standard business of the global corporate world is to harvest or "suck" the "equity", from the "lesser gammas" to the gain of th e"upper alphas". If you are a worker you have a chance at the $$$ but you have to be six-sigma. If you choose to live by values or hard work of an outdated systems than your are an Atari ET game. Fine enough but you cannot complain if you choose the path of substance or the weak. The path of the elite is to be the Hawk Wolf and reign as an Elite manager. In the end the labs are about process, and if you do not meet the metric milestones, than your outlook may not be in the black. The managers know that the end-user perspective is what matters to our costumers. You workers complain but you do not have the 500000 foot view of the true thought leaders have to transform and spearhead the needs that allow us to have the vendor in our pocket. The landscape is complex and subtle and only the those with forward employment agility will be those who adapt ever changing multidimensional landscape. Otherwise you die. The world has changed we are in a global market where the world is flat and information can be accessed faster than the speed o though and in the 3D at the same time! It is all perception and expectations, the idea of results is passe and will not make the team in the new global-local group world. You need to have a skill or the perception of a skill. The labs are now all about perception management. Take the right pill and you perception will be managed. Obey, consume, sleep, conform.
I do all that every day at work....usually in between meetings!
You wouldn't be surprised at all to see me fighting to stay awake in a dimmed room with PowerPoint slides up on the screen.
You wouldn't be surprised at all to see me fighting to stay awake in a dimmed room with PowerPoint slides up on the screen.
May 5, 2014 at 12:56 PM"
This is example if what management must struggle with every day at the labs, people who cannot even stay awake at an all hands meeting for the vital interest of the nation. The managers get it and suffer under the onus of national security for the nation as well as trying to provide for a viable business incentive to limited liability corporation. Very few in the nation know what it means to serve two masers and that is the burden that our lab management endures. It is not for everyone and the managers do not complain. These are people who could be making multiple millions out in the real world. Now they have sacrificed everything for the service of the labs and in return they get only 1/10 of the pay they could attain. All that and they come to this blog to read about someone saying that they struggle not to fall asleep at an all hands meeting? The managers are under more pressure than ever before, there is treacherous talk that the contract change has failed and the something new must happen. Think about that, these people gave up everything they had to make LLNLS successful in the new reality. They tried to change an entire culture, yet that culture is so entrenched, so deep in the wood rot, so arrogant,
so ancient, so vile, that it has infested the very DNA of what is called modern science that it refuses to change. The lab keeps saying it sees four fingers, no matter what the cost. There is a reason that the people hate scientists and engineers. Ask yourself this question, do you think you would last a minute out there is the real world? Ha, be grateful for what you have, you don't deserve it and at the very least stay awake during all hands meeting, wear shoes that grip, and say you see five fingers.
"...there is treacherous talk that the contract change has failed and the something new must happen."
That talk is not "treacherous," it is reasonable and makes valid points. And will probably come to pass soon.
"There is a reason that the people hate scientists and engineers."
Great rhetorical trick, make a statement that "assumes facts not in evidence" as the lawyers say. Name the people who hate them, (except you, of course). Sorry, that dog won't hunt.
Nice try, but if you are serious and not being sarcastic, then you are a piss-poor manager who hates his own employees, and you deserve to be fired.
Sheldon: here's a clue. May 5, 2014 at 7:17 PM was being sarcastic.
And a darned nice job of it, IMHO.
May 6, 2014 at 9:14 AM
Not Sheldon (whoever he is). And I speculated that it might be sarcasm in my post. Didn't need your "clue." However, that kind of rant is frequent enough on this blog that I doubt it is always sarcasm.
Spend a bunch of time writing arguments against a posting and THEN "speculate" that it "might be sarcasm".
You need to get out more.
May 6, 2014 at 7:13 PM"
I will have you know that I do get out, in fact I am now allowed up to 10 a week on supervised watch, while most others of the well behaved which I am guessing includes you only six to four hours. You are not allowed to count the 2 hour exercise break in the yard either. So the point is yes, I do get out. Of course I am allowed also allowed several hours a day to use the internet.
Try this, Lab employees are overpaid and don't deliver much. Would get trampled over on the outside.
May 7, 2014 at 3:50 PM"
Ummmm, and how on earth do you justify this?
I guess I could also say that the moon is made of cheese and dresses badly.
Try this, some of the trolls are bitter mediocre ex-lab employes that where fired due to profoundly poor performance. Of course they where so bad they than got trampled in on the outside world as well. Now they waste their days with bitter hatred toward the hard working, good, honest, decent people in the world. These trolls are sick twisted evil people.
Ok is that straight narrow enough for you?
hmm, must of struck a chord.
If you don't think you are overpaid, then you think you are underpaid, for nobody thinks they are fairly paid. And if you think you are underpaid, go and find another job, then.
Your high opinion of yourself is telling...
Over performing lab employees confusing "where" for "were". If it happened once, no big deal, but twice. When writing on a blog, please pay more attention than you do at work.
Try this, find someone who has worked in industry and then came to the lab. They realize what's going on.
Those that are not expected to produce.
"You either feel you are justly compensated for your expertise and experience, or you don't. If not, you look for another position that will increase your compensation and appreciation for your skills and accomplishments. "
I'm saying the lab is a great place to work; great salaries, incredible benefits, and no expectations.
"Why complicate your life with all the drama and envy of others? Get over yourself."
If you believe what you speak, then you would pursue your hobbies as a career, but instead you work at the lab, with obvious bureaucratic inefficiency. Why? pay and ease of life.
.
So you did get fired.
"I'm saying the lab is a great place to work; great salaries, incredible benefits, and no expectations."
Could you please back the statement up. It does not seem to ring true.
You are one very sick puppy. I take it you where canned. Was it recent or many years ago. I of ex-employees from Livermore and Los Alamos who simply hate the labs and are also batshit crazy at the same time. In fact everyone knows who they are. Although they where in different fields and different ages they all sounded the same.
We'll try the opposite thing again.
The Lab is a horrible place to work; minimal salaries, limited benefits, and unattainable work expectations.
Now that doesn't seem right does it?
I don't see how anyone could argue the monetary and work-life benefits of LLNLs. Headaches and frustration are a part of every job.
OK then, how much are you making, what are your benefits, and how long are your lunch breaks?
Oh, the original statement is confirmed.
May 8, 2014 at 10:15 AM showed off his high school debating theory, even though somewhat inappropriately placed given the whole discussion. (Why? because there really are only two options)
May 8, 2014 at 8:16 PM
Really? OK, here are your two "options":
1. the lab is a great place to work; great salaries, incredible benefits, and no expectations - May 7, 2014 at 11:42 PM
2. The Lab is a horrible place to work; minimal salaries, limited benefits, and unattainable work expectations - May 8, 2014 at 9:05 AM
Only these two are possible? That's a little myopic. How about:
3. The lab is a good place to work; reasonable salaries, pretty good benefits, and expectations that challenge your skills.
That rock your puny little needlessly polarized black-and-white world?
if 3 were true then
LBNL salaries are crap (much less than here)
UC benefits are only pretty good (still LLNL's are significantly equivalent to UC's) -which nobody would agree, and
Expectations that challenge -please, gag me with a spoon; firing rates are much less than industry
Oh, the original statement is confirmed.
May 8, 2014 at 11:48 AM"
Oookaay, the lunch breaks are about 30 min from from what I see. A number of people work 50 to 60 hours and really enjoy what they do and do a great job. I think it is clear that you do not work at the lab. Perhaps you did at one time but things did not work out and now you are delusional. Perhaps you never did work at labs and have fantasies of what life is like at the labs. I am not sure but you have no idea what you are talking about.
This entire blog is the lab either being great or horrible. I think it is a great place to work, but the expectations are low for the salary and benefits received, my continual and consistent point.
May 8, 2014 at 10:50 PM, anecdotal at best. In which area do you work? Am I supposed to believe the majority of people at the lab work 50-60 hours (I assuming salaried) with 30 minutes lunch breaks.
May 9, 2014 at 7:29 AM"
I said some work 50-60. There is also some very productive people who work 40hrs and a very good time management. I simply do not see these slackers that you are talking about. I don't think you see them either, you are just nutcase with an agenda.
You are obviously a prankster!
"I said some work 50-60. There is also some very productive people who work 40hrs and a very good time management. I simply do not see these slackers that you are talking about. I don't think you see them either, you are just nutcase with an agenda."
"some..." , "some..", well every organization has outliers.
May 7, 2014 at 3:50 PM
True in many cases, like the good (big or small) companies in the semicon industry or medical instruments. Up to and including PhD scientists, yes. The dead wood gets sent adrift, and only the strong trees survive.
May 7, 2014 at 3:50 PM
True in many cases, like the good (big or small) companies in the semicon industry or medical instruments. Up to and including PhD scientists, yes. The dead wood gets sent adrift, and only the strong trees survive.
May 9, 2014 at 12:06 PM
This type of post is just stupid and pointless. An unsupported general opinion gets unsupported agreement. No actual facts necessary! This blog should be called LLNL - The True Blather.
May 9, 2014 at 1:14 PM"
Gotcha, I knew you where a fake. In industry it is all about statistics, charts, and data. Literally every single decision in modern business is now made that way. Your statement clearly shows how utterly out of touch you are about the lab and the real world.
May 9, 2014 at 11:53 AM
Just like every society has delusional wackjobs who are bitter at the former employers. But on they are outliers
May 9, 2014 at 2:07 PM
(chuckles) You can't seem to distinguish between business decisions and human beings talking. That's why you'd be eaten alive in industry, you have to be a human being.
May 9, 2014 at 1:14 PM
Misspelled "verboten." Also, you can speak all you want, but realize no one will take you seriously. I guess you're ok with that.
May 9, 2014 at 5:46 PM"
You are absolutely wrong about that. It would also appear that you have had very little interaction with industry, business or the outside world. You are proudly ignorant. You can you just give the blog a break, you sad pathetic rants tell more about you than anything else.
May 9, 2014 at 10:01 PM
I wonder why he should give a crap.
May 9, 2014 at 10:45 PM"
A significant number of posters have negative things to say about the labs, such as managers, NIF, NNSA, specific organizations, how things run and so on. The blog can be a service in this way.
There seems to only be one poster who has a problem with the work force at the lab. This poster has the MO of bitter ex-employee who now hates everything and everyone from his former workplace. No matter where you work, or what kind of job you have had there are always a few people like this. There are deferentially few from the labs that some of us all know.
Now this does not prove that Mr Troll is an ex-employee but what else would his motive be for such obsessive hatred for the lab workers?
May 9, 2014 at 10:45 PM
Blinders, fingers stuck in ears, and other metaphors apply. It's a way to puff up their sense of self-importance and bury deeper feelings of inadequacy. Comes down to self-esteem issues, I guess.
May 10, 2014 at 9:49 AM"
That makes absolutely no sense at all.
The troll comes on and says how horrible the lab workers are and never provides a single fact, figure, or evidence to back it up.
I would say that it is Mr Troll that has some not see deep feeling on extreme inadequacy. His posts come across like some Freudian transference in that he is really talking about himself and transferred his own failings to the entire lab workforce.
May 10, 2014 at 2:25 PM"
I doubt that, there are way blogs out there for much more heated exchanges if that is what you want, just try any righ-ring/left-wing blogs if you really enjoy causing mayhem. It is personal with this guy, the LANL blog had a couple guys like this and is was not hard to figure out who since they would say the exact same thing in the coffee ship very loudly.
You ever worked on the outside. Well let me tell you, if you have then you'd know how easy lab employees have it.
Lab workers are not horrible, but are soft due to decades of low expectations. Maybe people making NIF shots who get no credit, but outside that, hit or miss.
Take that Troll!
May 10, 2014 at 10:29 AM
Not to an obsessive sociopath such as Mr. Prove It, who - like many lab technies - can only relate to computers and math equations and not to people. If you are laid off, you will starve on public assistance as one of the unemployables. Even at the lab, the days of the tolerated weirdos wandering the halls and muttering are mostly gone.
You have been saying this for years, however almost everyone who has left the lab for whatever reason has found employment elsewhere. So it is clearly an incorrect statement. Now in your case perhaps you where sooo bad that you could not find a job but you are an outlier and you mental state probably does not help.
Saturday night bender.
I can see the humor value, however it prompts many into a state of anger creating crazy responses as is said "stirring the pot." To say stuff like you may be one of the laid off and YOU will starve. You are unemployable is very hurtful writing. To be called by petty names like troll sociopath weirdo wandering halls is unacceptable behavior and hurtful. Does Jesus write like that ? Is this the way a good Christian behaves ?
LLNL does have a sector of employees that are challenged working as janitors, landscapers, food service workers, etc. LLNL gives millions to it's HOME program every year to help others. Yet seems to do less to HOME it's very own employees with due respect in the new LLC structure.
Moral has been declining for years. Real trust has been broken. People have been hired at LLNL for all sorts of skills. Yes, things have changed greatly since the LLC take-over. There is a lot more of the us vs. them happening.
One reason I like working at LLNL is their are some very smart folks I have learnt much from over the years. There's also arrogant people who think their waste matter don't stink. Either way we're all on this earth for just so long.
Hey, that's inside the gate. This blog is a public place. Let the people speak. That's how regular people communicate no matter the educational levels. It's not a perfect world. Reality is not always pretty.
(Ok, I've written fairly. Go ahead tear it down. Words of mad deconstruction is a propensity on this so-called llnltruestory blog. Show some truthfulness. Go for it. )
mut·ter (mÅt′É™r)
v.mut·tered, mut·ter·ing, mut·ters
v.intr.
1. To speak indistinctly in low tones.
2. To complain or grumble morosely.
v.tr.
To utter or say in low indistinct tones.
n.
A low grumble or indistinct utterance.
Of equivalent or increased salary?
Of equivalent or increased benefits?
Of equivalent or decreased expectations?
No, No, No.
By the way, how long have you been at the lab, and how many job offers have you gotten?
Of equivalent or increased benefits?
Of equivalent or decreased expectations?
May 11, 2014 at 2:18 PM
You can make much more than your lab pay, doing similar work. At least in technical areas. Benefits will be comparable, probably not as good as grandfathered TCP1/TCP2 but comparable to what new employees get. But expectations will be much higher, and you will be disappeared if you don't produce. This is a good thing.
By the way, how long have you been at the lab, and how many job offers have you gotten?
May 11, 2014 at 5:09 PM"
Hey jackass, you know all your co-workers who have left for Wall Street, Google, Amazon, Microsoft, all those start ups, professorships at universities. We have been through this before there is a whole list of names and if you really worked at the lab you would know this. You are just so full of it that it is mind blowing, get a out, talk with people, anyone someone, find out what is going on, wake up there is a whole world beyond your delusional brain-dead basement. It is not that hard, really. You use the internet to post your insanity so you just need to take a few more steps. All you have to use is use this thing called Google, put in LLNL CV, and you will get all your answers it is like magic. Do this before you post next time, please it will open a whole new world for you. There is more to life than that basement, than yourself.
Of equivalent or increased salary?
Of equivalent or increased benefits?
Of equivalent or decreased expectations?
No, No, No.
May 11, 2014 at 2:18 PM"
I am just taking a shot in the dark but is there any chance that you might be bitter about something?
I think those that have left the lab are nothing but stars, except for the bitter ones who post? Those who stay are obviously just an application away from those who "left for Wall Street, Google, Amazon, Microsoft, all those start ups, professorships at universities".
another winner!
Thanks, clever poster!
Keep up the good work!
New jargon to add to list:
"Clucked": romantic rendezvous that may lead to new employment
May 14, 2014 at 8:07 PM
How about "plucked," a new description of the American Taxpayer supporting the nonsense at LLNL (and elsewhere).