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Wednesday, February 8, 2017

LANL HR at work, solving the lab's biggest challenges:



To: LANL-ALL

From: Susan K. Harris, HR-DO, P124



Date: February 7, 2017



Subject: Pornography in the Workplace

Los Alamos National Laboratory strives to create and maintain a comfortable and safe work environment for all. As such, we take reasonable steps to deter inappropriate behavior that adversely affects our work environment. One area that has an especially negative impact is viewing or accessing pornography, whether using government equipment to do so or bringing pornographic material into the workplace. This behavior is unacceptable and undercuts the Laboratory’s efforts to be a “best place to work.” In addition, dealing with pornography is closely related to addressing the larger issue of sexual harassment, which the Laboratory does not tolerate.



Pornography has no place at the Laboratory and no place on government equipment, be it a cellphone, desktop computer, laptop, or any other government property. Therefore, I am announcing that our disciplinary practice related to pornography is as follows:



“Bringing any pornographic material to the Laboratory worksite or using government equipment to view or access pornography will result in termination of employment.”



We are treating this offense the same way we treat use of illegal drugs by employees: If you violate this rule, we will terminate your employment. If in doubt as to whether a website or other location is likely to contain pornographic material, do not access it at work or use government equipment to do so. The prohibition against accessing pornography on government equipment applies regardless of location. For example, the Laboratory will enforce this rule whether an employee accesses pornography on his or her Laboratory cellphone, laptop, or iPad while at home, on travel, or elsewhere.



Please help create a positive workplace environment that is respectful to all employees and contributes to the long-term success of the Laboratory and its mission.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Seriously??? The HR Director at LANL sends out a threatening lab-wide announcement about porn???

Anonymous said...

Seriously??? The HR Director at LANL sends out a threatening lab-wide announcement about porn???

February 8, 2017 at 8:40 PM

What do you bet a high level manager got caught?

Anonymous said...

Most probably they caught a upper level manager, who's going to get away with a warning. For the rest of you, worker bees, a mandatory pornography training course is coming.

Anonymous said...

Don't get caught with videos of any of Charlies all-hands meetings on your hard drive !

Anonymous said...

Would have expected something such as this under Marquez and McMillan.

Anonymous said...

Marquez was the poster boy.

Anonymous said...


This must due to some kind of pressure from an outside organization. We have massive boatloads of managers that have absoutly nothing to do all day expect other than look up stuff on their computers so I would not except them to be pushing these new rules.
It is very odd. I would guess it was some high level manager who got got in Washington DC on some trip.

By the way anyone remember NSF?

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/sep/29/workers-porn-surfing-rampant-at-federal-agency/

A senior official spent two years “repeatedly and excessively” surfing porn sites at the office and 20 percent of his work hours having “sexually explicit chats” with women online. His activities amounted to a potential loss of more than $58,000 for the NSF—and more than $40,300 of his own money. His exploits “adversely affected the workplace, making it offensive and hostile,” the report says. The official retired when he was told that he would be dismissed, says NSF spokesperson Jeff Nesbit.

Anonymous said...

Most (all?) lab networks, and at least some parts of the federal government (but apparently not NSF, at least not in 2009), block porn sites, so it must be a laptop problem. Everyone already knows it's against the rules, so it's just embarrassing to LANL for the HR director to send out a lab-wide warning. The immediate reaction is, wow, there must be a HUGE porn problem at LANL!, even if the reality is, one high-level guy got caught. Should have been handled differently, but there's LANS for you.

Anonymous said...

There goes hiring anyone under 40.

Anonymous said...

Impressive memo. Condescending, meaningless, and filled with faux contrition. LANS in a nutshell.

Anonymous said...

Not to mention existential threats ignoring the existence of due process rights.

Anonymous said...

Who got caught using the Ashley Madison website??!!?? What next, banning short dresses and nipples? Termination for the accidental use of a perceived sexual innuendo??!! And....granny panties....what about those?? Hey....my eyes are up here I told her!! Don't look at my junk in the trunk. Ha! What about no touching, hugging or dating a coworker! Then during an illegal entrance vehicle search, WAIT....what this in your trunk...porn. Let me confiscate that stuff and uhhh , dispose of it cuz your FIRED! Thanks HR for your friendly and profound advice, now go somewhere and suck the rooster!!

Anonymous said...

Lots of web sites shove this suggestive stuff in your face, at least outside the Labs firewalls ! Maybe it's just me ! LOL

Anonymous said...

"accidental use of a perceived sexual innuendo??!! " got me in trouble once. I thought it was a compliment and so did the female colleague, until some HR bitch convinced her otherwise. Sad !

Anonymous said...

Maybe someone will come forward and identify who was behind this memo. Looks as if Stanford and Marquez are still getting top cover from McMillan.

Anonymous said...

Amazing. As already pointed out, they are not talking about anything you can do from your office, since the firewall already zealously blocks any potentially offending material. What they are really saying is that if I stumble across an objectionable image with my LANL-issued phone while on travel, then somehow this will create a climate of harassment at the Lab and will undercut the Laboratory’s efforts to be a “best place to work.”.

I love it how they put the quotes there, around "best place to work". I would submit that it is the asinine management, the massive brain drain since LANS took over, and the climate in which such absurd memos can be continually issued are what made it not the best place to work anymore.

Anonymous said...

No no no....the firewall does not prevent me from say....sending you a porn picture, it only prevents access to certain websites, while you are on site. Now, if you delete the picture that was sent to you...you are okay...but if you forward it to some other sad sack. BAM! Your fired.

Anonymous said...

I got a call from HR after trying to access a site on naked eye astronomy, a site that is blocked by the firewall. I had to explain what that is.

HR staff aren't the brightest stars in the LANS open cluster f***.

Anonymous said...

When do the thought police arrive?

Anonymous said...

When do the thought police arrive?

February 14, 2017 at 12:22 PM

They got a slight setback when Hillary lost, but they'll be back.

Anonymous said...

Despite the best efforts of the LANS management team since it's come to power, there are still a few males left at the Lab who are capable of getting an erection. These males will be identified by Ms Harris and thoroughly monitored. "We know these men harbor lewd and dangerous sexual fantasies in their minds," Ms Harris writes in her memo to the Laboratory staff. "When I see these men, with their broad shoulders and their muscular legs, in my workplace, I immediately think: have they viewed images of scantily clad women on their cellphones at home this morning? If so, can they suddenly become aroused in my presence? It's clear that the result is an unacceptable atmosphere of harassment and intimidation, which spoils what would otherwise be the 'best place to work'. We therefore must act decisively and terminate them for any perceived signs of sexual thoughtcrime."

Anonymous said...

LANS famous "Work-Free Safety Zone" will now become the "Work-Free, Erection-Free Safety Zone".

Anonymous said...

The previous two posters think they are funny but they cause the bureaucrats to stir up yet more intrusive rules for their workplace. Is this constructive? Try staying silent - usually the most effective response to anything less than genocide.

Anonymous said...

The suggestion that Ms Harris has an unhealthy obsession is not only funny, it raises a serious issue. Look, Bechtel dumped yet another clueless manager on us: she is completely unfamiliar with the Lab or the town, unaware of our history or our true problems. What does she do to announce and assert herself? She launches a porn crusade. Per her memo, not only will she monitor your work computer, but also any images you might accidentally open on the internet while at home or on travel. These now could be cause for termination. What a textbook example of virtual signaling: she invents an issue and calls for its thorough and complete elimination. Let me tell you: based on my 13 years at LANL, I can give you a long list of systemic problems at the Lab; offsite porn watching is not on this list. It's a fraudulent campaign. And your solution to this dishonest, misguided crusading is to stay silent?

Anonymous said...

" there are still a few males left at the Lab who are capable of getting an erection. These males will be identified by Ms Harris and thoroughly monitored. "We know these men harbor lewd and dangerous sexual fantasies in their minds,"

Hi all former women colleagues at the NIF. Sorry to say this is really true ! Years ago a colleague and I where looking out of my 2nd floor window at the walkway heading into the building. A really hot chic was walking toward the building and my colleague commented that he would really like to "bang" that one.

So much for political correctness. True story. I was a little taken back at the comment since I knew the women in question.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like that particular colleague of yours had issues, but he doesn't represent people working at LLNL. I'm not surprised that to come up with this example you had to recall something that happened years ago. I personally haven't heard anything like that at LANL for a dozen years. And the last time I did hear this language was in the UC-mandated sexual harassment course! It's just not true that this type of culture is prevalent between scientists and engineers at LANL.

Anonymous said...


Hi all former women colleagues at the NIF. Sorry to say this is really true ! Years ago a colleague and I where looking out of my 2nd floor window at the walkway heading into the building. A really hot chic was walking toward the building and my colleague commented that he would really like to "bang" that one.


Sorry to hear this, it sounds absoutly disgusting that people even think this way much less say something like this to other people. We should all be disturbed that people
are having sexist, racist, and fascists thoughts, and remember thoughts lead to words which lead to actions so thoughts are actions. Horrible just horrible.

Anonymous said...

Please look up long-standing statistics on how often each day men and women have sexual thoughts or fantasies. Then imagine how pure and blemish-free your own thoughts are, and rejoice. Sexual thought does not equal "sexist" thought. Both genders like sex. Grow up.

Anonymous said...

You're right! I fantasize all the time about 128 core workstations, Mercedes AMG GTRs, and mansions in the Berkeley Hills. Also, ignition.

Anonymous said...

Both genders like sex. Grow up.


There are no grown ups anymore only safe places, microaggressions, fascists, racists, non binary, normalized, sexists, privileged and platforms. Free speech is for grown ups it is not for the United States.

Anonymous said...

Nihilism has never been attractive nor useful.

Anonymous said...

If you are bored, but not at work :-) google "Susan K Harris nude" and click on images

Anonymous said...

I see a guy in a Nazi uniform, and a whole bunch of images of Mark Twain. Good old Google.

Anonymous said...

Time to go to the canyon and drink a few cases of beer!!!

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